Still here? Good. I’ve missed you.
I must admit that the past few weeks have been ones I wouldn’t want to re-do… but on the other hand, they’ve been something I needed to go through. And there are lessons learned:
Don’t lose track of your own stuff. Remember those itsy bitsy things that end up turning into huge things?
Yeah. Those showed up this month.
It was like hosting a little party of all my inner-selves that I really didn’t want to talk to. Hard-Charger-Girl, who always tries to do too much. You’re-Doing-It-All-Wrong Girl, who always second guesses everything. You-Should-Try-Something-Different Girl, who wanted me to go out and be a salesperson, of all things, and got me all sidetracked and mixed up. You-Can’t-Really-Do-This-And-Will-Screw-Up Girl, who would question the very necessity of socks if I’d let her. And of course my business troll showed up, and then Effie was occupied with other things like making sure the kids did their homework while I seemed to be hosting this party forever.
Thankfully, everyone went back to their places, for now. The dinner party has ended, things are cleaned up, and all are much the wiser.
Effie has gone back into her usual contemplative state.
My 10-year-0ld and her friend did a podcast, for heavens sake, proving that we really do live in an age where anything is possible!
You will be happy to know that I did not become a salesperson (in the used cars sense), I did find something to connect others with that I absolutely love, which is kind of cool and funny. This has led me to start working on my beliefs about selling anything, which is something that it turns out has been holding me back for quite some time. I’ve also never had something to sell that I didn’t have to invent, so it feels good. That’s been really enlightening (and thank you, Lena, who is a brilliant coach, and who will soon start her “Enlightened Entrepreneurs” coaching group which promises to be amazing).
I have re-visited my schedule and recognized the need for this little thing called sleep. And meditation. And exercise. And this other little thing called fun-without-having-to-worry-about-whether-others-are-wearing-matching-socks (aka, time for mom to not work). The whole balancing thing is still hard, especially with three kids to and the challenges of 5th grade math (which are more horrible than I could describe). But it is what it is. Being a mom fuels who I am.
I’ve realized that I am not doing the wrong thing but exactly the right thing, in the right way. I give thanks for my friends and clients who actually tell me more and more that they really do like the new project — someone actually called me completely unexpectedly and asked to share it with her entire networking group! — and that my coaching is useful in helping them reach into themselves and find all sorts of worthwhile things.
I have emails and tweets saved so I can look at these little nuggets of encouragement when I’m feeling down, and they immediately help me realize I am on the right path. Granted, the path seems to be leading to a cliff at times, but it is getting smoother.
And yes, I did screw up a bit. Quite a bit. Worst was that I lost three of the interviews (with Brooke, David, and Deb) for the new project and they were brilliant. And I felt really, really bad. But now I can get a do-over, and will be much better able to do the interviews thanks to spending some time with my brilliant friend Carolyn who is helping me tap into her years of media experience so I can become a better interviewer.
Oh, yeah, and I now have a cool shiny little thingy that I can save really important computerey things on so they don’t get lost. That is nice.
When you hurt, pay attention. Okay, this one is a little strange, but I went to a salesey thing that I got all caught up in, and afterwards I hurt. I really was in pain, like someone was stabbing me in the neck. It ultimately got really bad, and I was about to go see my amazing chiropractor who always helps me. I thought I was sitting wrong, sleeping wrong, maybe coming down with something, and so I made an extra effort to be nice to myself. Well, as nice as a mom with three kids can be to herself.
Then, the most amazing thing happened. I had a session with Lena, who pointed out a couple of things I was doing that just were incongruent. Then she encouraged me to work on my beliefs about the salesey thing. After I really sat down a couple of times to do the work and to regain my what and how and my focus on my things, I realized much to my surprise that the pain was gone.
It was amazing. If only I’d paid attention to the pain when it started, and really taken time to think about when and why it started, I wonder whether it would have disappeared more quickly. I had gotten myself totally off my path, and thank heavens my body made me stop and figure things out.
Dance with the one that brung you. My dad used to say this. It means don’t give up on the people, experiences, and skills that got you to where you are now. It’s awfully appealing some days to turn into someone who just makes money. Lots and lots of money that will pay for a kitchen that is not partly held together by duct tape.
But you know what? I need to stick with what I’m good at and keep in mind what my “why” really is. When someone tells me what to do or how to do it, those are the moments I need to go even deeper inside myself and see what resonates for me.
Sure, I could be in corporate America. But my kids would be doing their homework without me. Granted, when your daughter is beginning algebra that sounds pretty appealing, but that’s not why I made the decision to leave bureaucracy and focus on being a mom.
So I need to stick with what I’m good at. And I will. Problem solving. Being a little human extension cord connecting people to each other and to what they need. Helping other people become healthier and more balanced. Meeting people exactly where they are in their business or personal lives, and bringing along a flashlight to help them get out of the dark. Remaining open and giving.
The amazing thing is, once I had an opportunity to think of all these things that have come my way, they all fit together. The coaching, the networking, the education, the connecting. It’s like one leads into another, seamlessly.
So, dear reader, I’m back, and ready to move forward.
Something new
During this whole phase, I’ve also done a lot of reading. Of course, one of my favorite check-ins is Havi. I love what she began a while ago, which is an “asking” for what she wants and needs. I agree that I need to get better at asking. So let us begin.
Here’s what I want — I have space in my practice (now that the dinner party is over!) for one or two new coaching clients. It just feels like it’s the right time to add some folks to the circle.
You need only to have read Effie’s work, have felt it resonated with you, and be ready to work on getting to a different place with your stuff. If that sounds like you, then please contact me (lizmcgowen@gmail.com) and we’ll set up a time to talk. All the info about “hows” is on my coaching page.
I’d love to hear your honest thoughts, and will respond to what you have to say from my own heart. If you have things to ask for, please do so, and let’s help each other while remembering to remain open and loving.
Back again? That's awesome. Thanks for stopping by!