Writing with the door closed

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All the best blogging advice says that you should never, ever acknowledge that you haven’t written in a long time. Apparently there’s no need to say anything, just get on with it.

To that I say, “Kerflewey!”

Here’s the deal:  I haven’t written here for a long time. I feel bad about that because I really like writing and interacting here.

I haven’t been writing here because I’ve been writing a lot privately. I’ve been working on a novel, writing short stories, doing copywriting for my husband’s new business.

But here, on this blog, I felt I was in the midst of yet another change in direction. I felt that I had nothing to say, yet.

You see, I found that once I started really writing (which is different than anything I’ve ever done before) it’s like a switch that I can’t quite turn off. The ideas keep coming, and they have to go somewhere, so it’s onto the page.

There’s nothing really interesting or glamorous about this writing. It’s me, sitting in a chair with a big yellow legal pad every day, and writing until my hand hurts so much I can’t go on. It’s what seems like a thousand little journals around the house, in the car, and in my purse where I scribble when something occurs to me.

I hope you can understand, there really isn’t a blog post in that. Maybe there’s a therapy session, but not a post.

I do want to share, though, now.

Not only am I writing, but I think I’ve gotten to the point where I’m writing with a purpose. I’m starting to consider dipping my toe into the wider world, sometime soon, and seeing what happens. I’m feeling like I might be able to handle a rejection, and I’m sure there will be many.

That whole feeling of being ready to engage the world seems like something I want to share with you.

I also want to let you know why I’ve decided not to share my creative writing here, as I thought I might.

You see, awhile ago I read On Writing by Stephen King, which is wonderful. Funny, great advice, from the heart. Helpful.

One of the things he talked about was writing first drafts with the door closed, and I had to think about that.

Hard.

As a person who’s been blogging for years, much of my writing has been completely with the door open — accessible, transparent.

The idea of writing something that is only for my eyes, putting it aside for six weeks, editing a handful of times and then sharing it with someone — it’s a completely different process.

Yet, as I try to find my voice as a writer, it’s something I’m giving a try. It gives me more freedom, more courage.

I wanted to let you know about that. There is a lot going onto those yellow legal pads, but it is still private.

I’ll keep you posted. And I’m re-starting the newsletter, because I miss it, too. (You can sign up here.)

So that’s what’s up with me. Meanwhile, I’d love to hear from you and what you’re up to.

Hope all is well in your world, and that you get lots and lots of candy for Halloween.

Be sure to brush…

 

The beauty of kindergarten, part 2

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Today my youngest daughter started kindergarten.

I can’t believe she’s five years old.

Although I can’t believe I’m five years older, either, but that’s just between you and me.

My thoughts today are similar to those from a post I wrote a couple of years ago:

http://www.lizmcgowen.com/archives/peace-happiness-and-love/the-beauty-of-kindergarten/

As this school year begins, I’m so thankful for wonderful teachers like Ms. D and Ms. G, who made this morning’s transition smooth even as mommy started to cry.

Wishing you all the best,

-liz

Effie is back

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One of the things I’ve found in working more and more to develop anti-burnout tools is this:

An astounding number of people are workaholics precisely because it keeps them from thinking about or dealing with what’s really wrong in their lives.

In other words, they’re running from something.

They run so hard and so fast that they eventually run out of steam.

After careful thought and consideration, I decided to bring back the most powerful, most gentle resource I could think of to help with all this: Effie the Elephant.

(If you haven’t already seen it, she is the author of The Elephant Manifesto).

Effie is tanned, rested and ready. Her Manifesto has been reformatted and updated, although the content is the same.

In its pages she wisely pours her little heart out to help you.

Where has Effie been?

Now, you should know that Effie took some time off. Her message “went viral” a couple of years ago, which kind of took both her and me by surprise.

She soon found herself having to deal with paparazzi and fans. I even went to a dinner party where a woman I had never met became hugely excited that I lived with Effie.

Things got a little too intense.

So, like many stars, Effie went on hiatus. She spent much of her time going places for sleepovers, making sure my oldest daughter’s new sheets and pillows were properly broken in, and probably playing Boogie Superstar on the Wii when no one was home (tho I can’t confirm that last one).

There was also a nasty instance in which my youngest daughter elephant-napped her, took her behind the couch, and tried to figure out what filled her trunk — that was thankfully repaired, although it took a long time for Effie to recover from the stitches.

Effie’s role

Now that Effie is better, she has agreed to once again assist here at the blog. Sadly, she is no longer able to consult with Missy The Cat, but she seems to have found a suitable colleague in The World’s Longest Living Guppy (fondly known as LLG).

I have set up an “about” page for Effie, and she will be contributing as much as she can. She’s a little nervous about re-entering the spotlight, although we did get her some pink sunglasses that give her a Jackie O look if she needs it.

Like anyone recovering from an intense experience, she needs to take things slowly and carefully right now.

I hope you’ll join me in welcoming Effie back. If you have any messages for her, or wish to offer hugs and squishes, please do so in the comments below.

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Family history slot-machine

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About a week ago, I was on vacation. In between going with my girls to the waterpark in our hotel and having my fingers and toes permanently wrinkled from being in the pool for a week, I got to do a few things I don’t normally get to do.

Doing things you don’t normally get to do is the point of this post — but I’ll get to that in a second.

First, you should know that in my family genealogy is a really big deal. My grandmother and mother were obsessed with tracking down our family history. They were kind of like D.A.R. groupies throughout most of my childhood.

We were the family that actually visited cemeteries on vacation, and took home rubbings of tombstones. I’m not kidding.

I know, it’s a little weird.

Anyway, I have piles and piles of family records in my bedroom closet (it seems disrespectful to put all this in the basement — I know, weird again).

So on the day we got back from vacation, still freshly bathed in the feeling of having time on my hands, I shipped my kids off to their Godmother and my husband off to a baseball game and did something wild and wacky.

Are you picturing it? The dance music… the disco ball… the keg…

That’s right, I whipped out my credit card and joined ancestry.com (and the dance music, disco ball and keg are all in your head, sweetie).

For nearly seven hours, I was in heaven. In the first hour or so, I entered the notes I’d inherited from my grandmother. I thought how nice it was to have things readable rather than scrawled in her fourth-grade-teacher handwriting. It looked cool.

That’s when things got spicy.

You see, ancestry.com is like playing the slot machines with your family’s history. Seriously, you can’t stop. Just when you satisfy your curiosity about one great-great-great somebody, one of those silly little leaves come up next to another name.

So of course you have to go check it out. Then another. And another.

Next thing I knew, the kids and the hubby were home staring at me, and I was in the exact same position I was in when they’d left.

Seven. Hours. Later.

They thought it was kind of strange — after all, they have all been spared from the years of cemetery-hopping vacations and sitting by the door waiting for the UPS guy to deliver the latest “hot” book on Martha’s Vineyard’s early settlers.

But I had a marvelous time. I found out all kinds of obscure and completely irrelevant things. One of my ancestors was French — thus completely explaining my addiction to French fries!

Another was named Prudence, and her mother was named Experience — now that, my friends, was a difficult pregnancy.

My own grandmother appeared on a census as “Rose”, even though her name was really “Ida”… I can see her now, probably answering the questions for the entire family because everybody else was too busy, and deciding to change her name right there and then to something she liked.

This is definitely not an ad for ancestry.com (in fact, I didn’t even link to the site because that’s not the point). Instead, this post is a way to share with you how much fun it can be to totally and completely immerse yourself in a hobby. I let time and worries fade into the background, didn’t worry about the clock, and left my email unchecked.

It was awesome.

As I write this, I’m wondering, do you have a hobby that you can lose yourself in? I hope you’ll take a moment to share — I’d love to hear from you!

Taryn Wallis - Phenomenoodle

Webinar guest: Taryn Wallis of Phenomenoodle

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On August 15th, the 100 Moments of BING! webinar will feature a special guest — Taryn Wallis of Phenomenoodle.

(You’ll find her on Twitter as @phenomenoodle, and she is of course part of our special “bing” twitter list.)

Truth be honest, who wouldn’t ask someone whose company name is “phenomenoodle” to be a guest?

It’s irresistible, and this kind of creativity radiates through everything Taryn does as a highly respected “techie”.

During our webinar, she’ll be focusing on some of the common questions she often hears from folks, things like:

  • Do I need a website in the first place? (and it’s corollary: Can’t I just use Twitter and Facebook?)
  • What options do I have if I’m on a tight budget?
  • Do I have to be a geek to setup or maintain my site?
  • How fixed does my branding need to be before I launch a website? (and the related: How easy is it to change my site when my business changes?)
  • And, of course:  Do I have to blog?

A little more about Taryn

“For the most part, Phenomenoodle is one woman and her cat – and to be honest, the cat doesn’t do all that much,” says Taryn of her business.

Despite her feline companion doing lots of napping, however, Taryn does what she loves: WordPress web design and development for small businesses with big dreams.

Once upon a time, in a country far far away, Taryn used to be an Organizational Psychologist with a Masters in Business Science. She had her own business specializing in career development, and a penchant for doing “webby” things whenever she got the chance. This, plus an artistic streak and a position almost exactly in the middle of the left-brain/right-brain continuum means that Taryn:

  • (a) loves design and coding equally, and creates websites that are not only pretty but come packed with powerful functionality, and
  • (b) ensures that websites support business goals.

Because Taryn is passionate about helping small businesses get onto the web, she’s introduced some innovative practices to help people make their big dreams a reality. These include the Noodle Bar (an exclusive club for clients), and the ability to manage cashflow by paying for sites over 12 months.

In addition to working with clients spread all over the world, Taryn is very involved in the WordPress community: she co-organizes WPScotland, her local WordPress user group, and is a member of the official WordPress Theme Review Team, the folks who make sure that all the free themes available via the WordPress site work properly before being let loose on the public.

As much as Taryn wears her ‘WordPress geek’ badge with pride, she has an innate knack for explaining complex technical subjects in a simple easy-to-understand manner.

I’m thrilled to have Taryn join us on August 15th from noon-1 (CST, Chicago), where she’ll talk about all kinds of cool “webby” things in her fabulous Scottish accent which makes everything sound so much cooler.

To sign up for “100 Moments of BING!” and make sure you get all the details about Taryn’s webinar, click here.

Or, to RSVP for the free webinar, go here.

And, of course, you can connect directly with Taryn at her website Phenomenoodle.

Hope you’ll join us!

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What to do when life is being transformed for you

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My favorite thought from today’s webinar with Jenny B. Bones of Up Your Impact Factor is simple:

Stop living life asleep.

Jenny was my special guest for the kick-off webinar for this month’s “100 Moments of Bing!” events. Her message, and the timing, couldn’t have been more perfect.

As Jenny explained, the magic in both handling transformation and making it through the tough times is all in living your life in the present, reminding yourself these three things:

  • we’re spectacular
  • we’re not alone
  • there are connection points between us everywhere

I hope you’ll take a moment and listen to the recording, which is on the Vokle site right here: Webinar with Jenny B. Bones

Thanks to everyone who attended — your questions were awesome and I’m so glad you were there!

And a special thank you to Jenny B. Bones, for being so open and honest about how she’s made it through the tough times. You’re the best!

Next…

Be sure to join us for next week’s webinar — at noon, CST — when Natalie Hill will walk us through how to use EFT Tapping Techniques to deal with our emotions.

For those of you who are already signed up for “100 Moments of Bing!”, I can hardly wait to get to know you better — and for those of you who aren’t signed up, what are you waiting for? Go here right now and get join in.

Okay, I’m off to get ready for the first of my free coaching calls later today…

All my best,

-liz

PS:  We did have a couple of technical glitches. My deep apologies to the people who were inexplicably stuck in “chat” mode — I’ve alerted the support staff at Vokle and we’re trying to figure out what went wrong so that doesn’t happen again.

And, as you’ll learn in the webinar, yours truly discovered her microphone wasn’t working so I sound like a mumbling mess during most of the recording. Talk about needing to stay in the present moment and not freak out!

That being said, Jenny was brilliant.

Thanks for being here, and thanks for being part of this month’s awesomeness.

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Natalie

August 8 Webinar: Special guest Natalie Hill of EFT Tapping Techniques

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On August 8, I’m so excited about the second in my series of webinars during the “100 Moments of BING!” month-long program.

Our special guest will be Natalie Hill, a coach who specializes in services tailored to work-from-home women entrepreneurs. She is an expert in Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Tapping. Her website, EFT Tapping Techniques, is one of the leading websites in this unique specialty — and getting Natalie to speak about this is absolutely the perfect addition to the lineup of webinars and other information that you’ll be getting this August.

What’s EFT Tapping?

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Tapping is an area Natalie has trained in for years to become a true expert, and it helps with things like staying calm, getting un-stuck, and so many more of life’s obstacles. Here’s how Natalie explains what she’ll be sharing with us:

In my experience, it’s essential to have a quick, easy, effective and DIY tool to change your emotions. Anyone who’s passionate about making an impact on the world — who wants to live a life that is full and rich inside and outside of what you do for a living — needs a way to transform emotions that block us from that into emotions that support that.

 

When she offered to teach EFT Tapping to us as a group, I nearly dropped my laptop — this is a gift of huge insight and importance.

A little history…

Like all of us involved in this program, Natalie has a juicy story.

In fact, last August, Natalie sold her house, her truck, got rid of nearly all her stuff and left the U.S. to explore living in other cultures while working online. She’s now back in the U.S. now, and is living out the life lessons she discovered on a vacation to Costa Rica three years ago.

Just like the other people I’ve invited to be guest speakers, Natalie is someone I know and trust. The two of us connected a few months ago, and recently our relationship evolved and we are working together — sometimes almost daily! — with two other brilliant women in a mastermind group.

I’ve gotten to know Natalie really well, and am thrilled to be able to connect you with her gifts and expertise.

Natalie is someone you are going to absolutely love. Her warmth and wisdom shine through in everything she does, and her skills with EFT Tapping are amazing. Each and every day, Natalie helps success-minded women-working from home break through their inner limits to higher levels of health, wealth and joy.

Join us, won’t you?

I hope you’ll join us, and that you’ll pass this information along to others in your life — colleagues, friends, family. This might be just the thing they need to really start to make the kind of change they want deep in their soul, and it just takes a second to email it or send it to them on Twitter or Facebook.

To RSVP for the webinar, you’ll find all the details here: Webinar series

If you haven’t signed up for “100 Moments of BING!” yet, you should. Really, do it. I want you to get the full experience!

And, to connect directly with Natalie and sign up for her newsletter and her ”Make EFT Work Every Time Kit” go to EFT Tapping Techniques.

 

 

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How many psychiatrists does it take to make a decision?

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One of the things I’m really, really good at is keeping people focused.

I learned that I had that gift the hard way — month after month, at a huge table full of psychiatrists, in a conference room deep inside a locked mental health facility.

Thank heavens, I wasn’t a resident at the facility, but if you ever do want to shift the balance of power into your favor, host a meeting in a locked facility. Your guests will definitely be thrown off guard.

As a still-wet-behind-the-ears bureaucrat, my boss used to assign me to lots of mundane kinds of things. They were the events and activities that somebody had to do, but that nobody wanted to do.

In most cases I wore a suit, shook a few hands, and passed along anything important to my boss. Harmless.

Thus, just a couple of weeks after I settled in, I found myself assigned as our region’s liaison to the Department of Mental Health. As a social worker, I was fairly familiar with the state’s mental health programs and facilities, although I’ve always found having to actually go inside the enormous locked facilities pretty creepy.

The agency I represented ran the local offices where people actually went to sign up for things like Food Stamps, Medicaid, and cash benefits (aka, welfare). Each of our 20+ offices in the Chicago area saw thousands of people a week (sometimes thousands a day).

Outsiders saw us as paper-pushers, but I saw something different:  we were people with access to tremendous resources, on the front lines with moms, dads, and kids. If something was off and we could recognize it, connecting them to the right resource could make a huge difference.

In many cases, I have no doubt that our caseworkers’ actions to report abuse and get help for clients saved lives.

The task I’d been assigned was to figure out how, why, when, and where the mental health department and their providers fit in with the work that we did. It was the time of the Clinton-era welfare reform, and there was a huge push to get people off welfare and into the workforce.

Sometimes – fairly often, in fact – we’d run across someone who really needed other services before a job or training would even be in the realm of possibility. With no real links to our sister agency that provided mental health services, the best we could do in the beginning was to give the person a referral and hope for the best.

Our dream was to be able to get these people set up with assessments — even in our office, if that was a safe place for them — help them access the treatment they needed, and have things start to improve for them and their family.

A little example…

I think of a woman I interviewed who was having trouble holding down a job. It turned out that she couldn’t sleep very well, so she was tired and forgetful all the time, and had lost a couple of jobs for being late to work.

At one point she kind of casually told me that recently she’d been questioned by the police because one of her neighbors had been shot… then later she told me the neighbor had actually been shot while she was standing right next to her… and eventually she disclosed that this had happened several times to her since about the age of 17.

No wonder she couldn’t sleep – she was constantly worried that her life was in danger. For at least 15 years, she’d been walking around with PTSD and everyone thought it was normal.

Having a secure relationship between our “system” and the mental health “system”, we were able to set up an appointment for her and start getting her the kind of help she needed to begin to deal with this.

Back to the psychiatrists…

So, I found myself about once every month going to meetings that all these bigwig psychiatrists had to attend. We had to find a way to get their agencies into our offices to screen people and provide services. There was lots of systematic gobbledy-gook, since their providers were already overloaded. They hated the idea.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever worked with a group of psychiatrists before, but let me tell you they’re a little tricky to keep on task. As a group, they tend to be exceedingly polite to each other, but all that respect amounted to giving everybody at the table plenty of time to speak with nothing real getting done. They also tend to be extraordinarily creative as a group – meaning somebody would come up with a really cool idea and next thing you knew everybody had hopped on the creative idea train. The person who was assigned by the Governor’s office to chair the whole group was knee deep in doing other things, and he had very little help.

I soon realized our ulitmate destination:  Nowhere.

Fortunately, I realized early on that I’d be in need of psychiatric help myself if things kept going this way, so I ever so gently took over. I volunteered to keep the notes and the agendas. I made sure we got clear next steps out of the group, and that we held working committees responsible for meeting and reporting on what was happening. If needed, I even did the same thing for the working committees.

It seems like I attended thousands of meetings and sent out millions of agendas.

But the results were amazing. We found our way through the bureaucratic swamp, and established clear lines of communication. We got the services into the offices, and were able to do outreach to people who otherwise never would have gotten mental health services. We collaborated on important issues, and established relationships and programs that had never existed before.

All this laid the groundwork for community action that I’m so proud of, like the way the state mobilized in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina to help relocated families, and how our two divisions collaborated to play pivotal roles in that effort.

And that, my friend, is how I learned that my gift of focus could make a huge difference in the world. It could make a difference for you, too, and I’d love to hear from you if that’s something you could use my help with — be sure to leave a comment below, or send me a note via email (liz at lizmcgowen dot com) or twitter.

 

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jennyb

August 1 Webinar: Special guest Jenny B. Bones of UpYourImpactFactor

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On Monday, August 1, we’ll be kicking off the “100 Moments of BING!” month-long program. I’m delighted about the special guest who will be joining us.

It’s going to be Jenny B. Bones, of Up Your Impact Factor!

It is! It will be her! **loud Oprah-audience-like applause**

Jenny is a magical, magnetic person, and someone who has been a good friend and advisor to me for the past year. When she said “yes” to being a guest speaker, I knew I was on the right track to creating something fantastic.

Not only is she amazing in the friend department, but she’s dead-on outstanding as a marketing strategist. She tells it like it is, and knows things like copywriting, twitter, and email marketing like the back of her hand.

In this far-out crazy world, she’s one of the people I know I can trust.

For the record, Jenny B is owner and resident witch of Up Your Impact Factor where she delivers magical marketing strategies and advice to online solopreneurs. Other titles include copy writer extraordinaire, conjurer of clarity, and retriever of fuzzy mice from under the fridge.

She has a weekly newsletter that I wouldn’t miss for the world, and she even does weekly website reviews and offers free marketing consults. You should definitely sign up for her newsletter, especially since I know she’s planning some new tricks and treats this fall that you won’t want to miss.

What’s Jenny going to talk about?

Ooh, good question. For this webinar,  Jenny is going to go outside her usual awesome marketing advice to share with us something really, really special.

And it’s gonna get a little bit personal.

Just for us, she’s going to talk about “Transforming Your Life – The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” — and help all of us understand the amazing journey she’s undergone personally and professionally to get to where she is today.

When we talked about this recently, here’s what she had to say:

What I’d like to express is that no matter what life offers us, there is always an opportunity for personal transformation. Tragedy, illness, poverty, heart-ache are all opportunities for growth.

These things do not have to destroy us, that is our choice to make.

In fact, these challenges can be the gateway to new discoveries about ourselves, our abilities and the gifts we have to offer others.

It’s not “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” That implies passivity. What we choose to kill us will and what we choose to strengthen us will.

I love that, don’t you?

This is going to be absolutely amazing, and there are going to be moments of insight for all of us as Jenny helps us get started on a month that’s going to be filled with transformation for everyone involved.

I hope you’ll join us, and that you’ll pass this information along to others in your life — colleagues, friends, family. This might be just the thing they need to really start to make the kind of change they want deep in their soul, and it just takes a second to email it or send it to them on Twitter or Facebook.

To RSVP for the webinar, you’ll find all the details here: Webinar series

And if you haven’t signed up for “100 Moments of BING!” yet, you should. Really, do it. I want you to get the full experience!

And, to connect directly with Jenny and sign up for her newsletter, you’ll find her at Up Your Impact Factor.

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Why I do what I do

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The other day I sat down while having my morning coffee and recorded this. I like it, and thought I’d share it. The recording is about 10 minutes.

I’m also goofing around this morning with the Amazon storage system and trying to figure the whole thing out… so this gives me a “live” excuse to see if it really works. And it does!!

Hope you’re having a great day… grab a cup of coffee and join me!

And, fair warning, at about the 8 minute mark I said a naughty word. Just so you know.

Why I do what I do recording:  liz mcgowen why I do what I do

(you can right-click to download it, if you prefer)

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