The brochure and my red velvet rope

The other day I was talking to someone I love.

I’ve known this person all my life. We’ve been talking quite a bit, and I’ve been trying in my own smallish, elephantish way to help him with his business.

Recently, I’ve even been a bit frustrated that he wouldn’t take me up on my offer to help — particularly since I can see some things we could do together that just make so much sense and that would help things move forward.

And then, it happened. He asked me if I had a brochure I could send.

I must say, there was probably a long and uncomfortable pause. Uncomfortable for both of us.

It was at that moment that I realized I do have a red velvet rope. It is the fact that I do not and will never have a brochure. In my nearly 4 years of business, I’ve never had one.

I tried, ever-so-lamely, to explain that I simply don’t have one. That I’ve never needed one. That people who need me find me and then we talk and start working on their stuff. I wondered what one would say.

After all, I have a blog and an elephant manifesto. Isn’t that enough?

I ended up feeling like I must really be quite insignificant as a business person, since I couldn’t produce a little teensy brochure upon demand.

And that made me more than a little bit mad.

It also made me mad that I had so poorly communicated my what and my how to this person. He just wasn’t getting me.

This also started me thinking about something: That we can love people and care about them deeply, but that it doesn’t make them our “right people”. At least not for business.

My right people for my business are a bit shy. Introverted is a good word for many of them. They are often moms, or have the qualities of moms with lots of taking-care-of-others kinds of things they naturally do. They have businesses that resonate with who they are — therapist-ey kinds of things, life-changers, and creative types. They are often kind of bookish and very often hilariously funny. We get along extremely well and I honestly love them. It’s not work. It’s collaboration.

My right people are not many things. They do not, as a general rule, use Linked-In. This is good for me, since I find it to be an uncomfortable venue that makes me feel icky. They generally do not do things that are very sales-ey, although they do sell things. Often they are brilliant salespeople.

And they do not, apparently, use brochures.

That’s too bad, especially for this person I love and whose business I do want to succeed. Perhaps I can help him find someone who has a brochure who can help.

An update from Effie

Effie wanted me to let you know that she is preparing to do a new little guide. This one will (we believe), be something like “Effie’s Guide to Networking”.

We are all very happy about it here at our world headquarters, and just wanted to let you know of its existence. A draft will be available in about a week or so, and if you’d like to read and comment on it, we would love to have your input.

Just send an email to EffieTheElephant [at] gmail [dot] com, and we will forward it to you when it is ready… and of course, if you do read it and comment, we will mention you and a link to you in our final copy.

My odd game

Remember the “One of these things is not like the other” song from Sesame Street? I feel like I’ve been playing the “live” version of that game this fall.

In recent months I’ve gone off on several of my usual tangents. Not quite as many as in the past, but a few. It’s become a complicated mess, but it’s gradually sorting out. Effie has given me strict orders to go on no more tangents. I’ve probably driven some people away as a result (perhaps another example of a red velvet rope?).

Actually, this morning, things sorted out extraordinarily well. The pieces fell into place, which is awesome. It’s like an Ikea catalogue — I can now see where everything can beautifully fit.

That being said, you’ll notice a couple of changes around here soon. Just a bit of housekeeping and decluttering, really. It’s exciting, and promises to make the new year really clean and focused.

This week’s request

As you know, I am now under strict guidelines from Effie to make my phone calls a priority. This is working well, and I’m loving the caramel rewards.

In line with this, and with my slight expansion of business hours, I will be taking one new coaching client.

If you’d like to be that one client (and if you can manage to do this without a brochure), please email me at lizmcgowen [at] gmail [dot] com, and we’ll connect.

The brackets are to ward off the strangely large number of Russian porn providers who still continue to email and spam my blog for some reason. I have no idea why they do that. Sorry for the subterfuge.

Please know that this person is quite possibly the last person whom I will be able to take under my current coaching payment structure — which you can read about here. So if you really want in, now’s the time.

My coaching policy is getting too complicated to track now that my practice has grown, and I’ve become busy enough that it’s going to be necessary for me to become selective. I guess that’s about to be another red velvet rope. Hope you can understand.

Is that you? I'm so glad you came by to hang out! Be sure to subscribe to my RSS feed so you can come back and play often... and grab your copy of the Elephant Manifesto.. Thanks for visiting!

Effie’s week in review

I grew up in a slightly crazy home. Friday evenings’ highlight was watching Wall Street Week, which is probably not quite the same as many people’s experience.

Most people probably watched fun stuff. Just sayin’.

So, with a nod and a bow to Louis Rukeyser, I thought it might be fun to do an “Effie’s Week in Review”, where we can talk about what happened without any expert-ey opinionated ickyness.

Here goes… from this point forward, I’ll be typing on behalf of Effie.

****************

There were many, many elephants that came out this week, which is always a little fun for me because I actually like hanging out with my peers. But since we can’t talk about any of those elephants that came up with clients, I’m forced to talk about the person I know best:  Liz.

One of the things I saw Liz doing was getting an itsy bitsy bit off track.

I know, I’m always after her about this. I don’t know why  it seems so hard for her to stay focused. We elephants are very single-minded, so I have lots of issues with transference and such around this.

One of the things that is hard for Liz to do is to talk on the phone. No, that’s not quite right. The thing that’s hard for her is to get on the phone. The picking up and dialing part.

Once she’s actually on the phone she is perfectly fine and can talk for hours.

But it’s the getting on the phone thing that’s hard for her. I believe this is for several reasons. When she was growing up, her dad’s business phone rang at the house and she always (even as a very little kid) had to be careful to answer the phone correctly and politely. It was in the days of long-distance being extremely expensive, so when a long-distance call came she often had to run like hell to find the correct person. Sometimes there was yelling about the whole who-answered-the-phone thing. This made the whole answering-the-phone thing less than delightful.

Then there was her first job, where she helped in the kitchen of the bar in her hometown. The phone for the fire department rang in the bar, and when no one was at the VFW, the staff at the bar had to answer it. Sometimes, that meant she had to answer it. I don’t know about you, but for a 16-year-old girl answering a fire phone is just not too appealing.

These days, and this may seem really quirky, Liz is still working through the fact that people a) know who she is when she calls, and b) actually want to talk to her. I know, this again seems strange, but we elephants just tell it like we see it.

I’m trying, in my own quiet way, to help her understand that what she does is really of value — amazing in its ability to help people. I’m also trying to help her see that the only way to talk to some of her right people is by calling them.

Still, she’d much prefer a million emails to that moment, just after she says “Hi, it’s Liz” when there’s the pause during which she’s worried the person will say, “Who…?”

At which point she’d prefer for the Phone Gods to simply take the phone and never allow it to come back.

Now, back to getting off track. (Hey, that kind of rhymed.)

I’ve noticed and pointed out that Liz tends to send out emails and hide behind the veil of the web (I’m pretty proud of that little phrase there) rather than actually getting on the phone. When she does get on the phone, she’s amazingly successful at getting things done.

So, as my amazing and very high-tech intervention, ‘cuz that’s what I do, I’ve asked Liz to stop emailing people when she should call them. She’s really kind of struggling with this, but today she got a whole lot accomplished and actually talked on the phone.

When she does make a call rather than sending an email, I’m giving her a caramel. She loves caramels, and I’m thinking this plan might work. I’ll let you know after we have a few more days and track the data (again, that’s what we clinical types do).

Well, that’s about enough for this edition of “Effie’s Week In Review.” Hope you found it helpful (or at least a little more interesting than a 30 minute show on the stock market).

How’s your week been?

I’ll be here to listen, as always, if you’d like to share anything.

All my best hugs and squishes to you,

Effie

Helping 100 People in 45 Days

Over the last weeks I’ve realized that I’ve been amazingly fortunate since starting my business. There have been so many people who have been mentors, advisors, or just “whisperers” giving me wonderful help and advice.

So, it’s time to give back. I’ve decided that in the next 45 days, between now and October 1, I’m going to give a free, one-hour consultation session to 100 different people.

That’s right. It’s gonna be super fun, crazy busy, and we’re gonna make things happen.

I’m kicking it off tomorrow (so I’m actually cheating and giving myself one extra day).

So if that sounds like fun to you — as a way to get work with your peoplerelationships stuff, or on how to deal with difficult people, or to get un-stuck, or to develop a strategy, or to work even for a little bit on something that’s really, really difficult for you to do alone — then all you have to do is join my mailing list. I will send you the link to my online appointment system, and you can pick the time that works for you.

Simple. Easy Peasy. No strings. Let’s talk and get your stuff moving!

And if you want to stand on the sidelines and cheer, that’s cool, too. I’m planning to update you on the numbers and how things are going, so you can glimpse my next 45 days in action. Crazy, but that’s what I’m doing.

A couple of details:

• All non-Chicago (Illinois, USA) clients will need to provide me with their Skype contact info. I can’t afford to offer a free session and then pay for a call halfway across the world. Hope that makes sense.
• All times for appointments are Chicago time, Central Standard Time. Hope that helps.
• I’m squeezing this in between my regular “stuff”, seeing clients who actually pay me, but I’ve opened up a lot of my schedule to do this since it’s a priority. Hope you can find a time that works for you.
• If you need to reschedule for any reason, I ask that you do so at least 24 hours in advance if you can… that helps me keep things straight and keeps me from being grumpy.
• Nothing is too anything for this project. Whatever you want to talk about is cool, that’s your choice. I’ll do my very-absolutely-superdy-duperdy best to help you.

Sound fun? Send an email to coachwithliz@aweber.com, and join my email list. Or go to the right-hand column on the screen and sign up there. Once you confirm your subscription, I’ll automatically send you to the site where you can pick the day and time you want to talk.

This is going to be so much fun. I can hardly wait!

-liz

The first ever “Send A Friend” Sunday

OK, so as you know, Effie came up with “The Elephant Manifesto”, and I typed it. It has traveled around the world and back again, bringing us beautiful words and love from many people. People have written to share their delight at Effie’s words, and these notes have brought me amazing joy.

So often these days, when I get together with a friend who has read the manifesto, our conversation will include something like, “I heard from my friend who is now a big Effie fan, and…”

For this I am grateful.

Effie has been able to help so many begin to embrace parts of themselves and their lives that are really, really scary — maybe, she’s even helped you. She’s been able to help people start caring for parts of themselves and begin to move forward toward happier places.

I think her words are super helpful. It’s really important to me that her words get out there to as many people as possible, to help as many people as possible.

So, if you know anyone who’s been struggling, I’d love it if you’d take a moment to send them the link to the manifesto:

http://www.lizmcgowen.com/the-elephant-manifesto/

Or, if it’s easier for you and those you care about, you can join the “Effie the Elephant Fan Club on Facebook” and invite people you care about to come hang out with us there.

All my best…

-liz

PS:  I want to thank the wonderful @havi of The Fluent Self for her input and ideas in this “send a friend Sundays” idea… you’re the best, Havi.

Effie goes on Facebook

This morning, after multiple prods and pokes from friends, I finally got myself in gear and separated from my three kids for long enough to set up a Facebook fan club group for Effie The Elephant.

You remember Effie, right? The author of “The Elephant Manifesto“?

And then I promptly screwed the whole thing up and had to re-do it.  Twice.

Anyway, the new group is up.

I also have a super-cool new graphic done by the very famous and talented @sparkyfirepants, who does graphic designs for all kinds of cool things like e-book covers. If you have a need for this sort of thing he should be your #1 go-to-guy because he’s fabulous and super easy to work with.

Come check out the Effie’s Fan Club page. And feel free to bring your elephant along to say hi.

All my best,

-liz

Introducing the Elephant Manifesto

Effie and I are so proud this week.

We’re officially introducing the Elephant Manifesto to the world, and most importantly, to you.

“What the heck is an Elephant Manifesto,” you ask?

That’s a really excellent question.

It is narrated by Effie (whose identity will be explained), and it talks about something that is lurking in all of our lives. It also provides a teensy bit of insight into what to do to stop the lurking and start the embracing.

To say more, and to give away the full identity of Effie, would ruin the surprise. And I love surprises.

So just go now, download it, and read it. It’ll be fun. Go here.

Feel welcome to forward it to everybody you know who might have some elephants lurking about. It is my hope that they will find it fun (most importantly) and helpful (a nice secondary benefit).

I’ve received amazing feedback about this which has made me feel like a full-fledged rock star, and would love to have feedback from you, too. Please feel welcome to contact me and add your two cents.

The easiest ways to comment are via in the comments here on the blog, or via twitter (@lizziemcg) or email (liz@lizmcgowen.com).

Hugs and squishes from both me and Effie…

-liz