What’s next?

Everyone seems to be asking that these days. Perhaps Mayor Daley here in Chicago is asking that today, too.

Well, from my little corner of the world, what’s next is something I’ve created especially for my right people. Some of you already know about it (because I’m a fairly lousy secret-keeper), and many of you will (I hope) be delighted about it.

You see, in the last months and weeks I’ve wanted to create a something. But I’ve also been aware that the something needed to be a something that you, and my other right people, actually needed.

So I put Effie’s little manifesto out there and then I sat back and waited.

Which is really hard to do.

Anyway, after a while little trickles started to come in.

And then another little trickle.

And another.

It was similar to the feeling when I was pregnant and my girls started to move or to kick. At first it was like a little flutter and I didn’t even know what it was.

Anyway, I paid attention to those trickles and started thinking and planning a way to use the information to help my right people.

The funny thing is that by last Monday, the trickles had turned into a full-blown river. I had three detailed conversations that all led to a very similar need.

So, in response to these hints and questions and trickles, there is now a something. It’s called “Authentic Networking In Business“, and it’s really designed for people who need to network (or who have been told they need to network), but who aren’t crazy about the idea.

My friend Carolyn suggested it’s a site for the “Reluctant Networker”, which I love.

My friend Victoria suggested, in her brilliant wisdom, that perhaps there should be an “Effie’s Guide to Networking.” It’s in the works.

The focus of the new site is on people like you and me who find the traditional go-to-the-event-and-get-as-many-cards-as-you-can networking extremely icky. And useless.

Instead, it’s about being “authentic” by just being yourself. About creating relationships that will last. Staying within your comfort zone. Being yourself in the way that only you can. Building friendships with people who are also in business, and feeling like going to a networking event is like going to see your friends. It’s doing amazing things by taking care of relationships. It’s about caring.

I’ve waited a while to tell you about this, dear reader, because I wanted you of all people to understand what it’s for (and I’ve been working that out myself), and because I wanted there to be information there that’s ready for you.

And, frankly, as a woman who can barely manage to use the buttons on her microwave, putting together a podcast was a little intimidating.

But it’s there, and it’s ready to go. There’s a lovely first interview with my friend Jon, who is a young entrepreneur who has become renowned for his networking skills and is building a solid business — all in less than a year and all while being a genuinely nice guy.

It’s not fancy, but it’s there… and it’s all created with my right people just like you in mind.

Next week I’ll begin a full slate of programing on the podcast and the site, with a Monday and Thursday schedule of casts and a daily post. We’ll focus on people who are just like you and me — reluctant networkers all of us — who are using networking and who are being successful.

I hope you’ll hop over. And do let me know what you think.

I’ll still be here, still coming up with goofy content and helping all of us avoid getting squished or pooped on.

Talk to you soon. All my best to you,

-liz

Her experience brings up so much for me, and quite possibly for you, too.

Being the new girl (or boy) is awkward.

Nothing is familiar.

You have a history with no one — at least not in the exact same environment.

Many of the norms and customs make no sense. They just are.

It’s always difficult being the new girl, but I’ve also always been amazed at some people who seem to fly through the process. Perhaps it’s wearing the right clothes and having the right hair — they are predestined to fit in with their group, be it the cool kids, the athletes, or the preppies. They want to fit, and once they do they settle in to a routine.

Possibly, it’s not a routine but a rut.

While I hope my daughter makes the transition smoothly, I also hope that she isn’t pigeonholed right from the start. She’s such a beautiful mix of softball girl, history/mystery buff, and fashionista right now. Of course, it changes every day, but I love every little nuance of her personality.

Having this new girl thing happening here at home has made me very conscious of my own “new girl” phobias. Thinking back, I went to a college where so many people were not the new girls — they all just seemed to fit in (at least to me, who seemed to fit in nowhere). They wore the same kinds of deeply preppy clothes. They all had the same haircuts. They had taken the same kinds of classes in private school. They knew the drill, and so did their mothers (ok, I went to a women’s college, but their fathers knew the drill, too).

Then came me. I had never left the midwest except on a few occasions. I was a farm girl and I spent about half my time at the barn with the horses where I was the most comfortable. The first time I visited Boston, I dressed up because it just seemed the right thing to do (and I discovered to my horror that my friends didn’t do the same). I had never been to sleep-away camp or to prep school, and I was terrified of my well educated professors. My parents were both self-employed practically from birth, and the whole what-to-study-and-how-to-get-a-job thing was a complete mystery to them. It was hell.

But you know what? Sometimes in the not fitting, you get a better sense of yourself. You become more self-reliant, and you develop a wider base of friends. Sometimes the not being part of one solid group is tremendously hard, but it’s not the end of the world.

I say this because it’s my belief that being the new girl, whether you are networking in business or school or a profession, is something we’ve all done. We’re all deeply uncomfortable and unsure, whether we show it outwardly or not. We all want to fit, but some of us don’t.

I find that I still don’t fit in many situations. That’s ok. It just makes me work at it a little bit more to find out what we have in common.

You are you, and no one else can be that glorious combination of all the things that make you what you are. Instead of being the athlete or the artist or the soccer mom, be you. Just you, in all your multi-faceted brilliance. And treasure those of us who are also just being ourselves.

Have a glorious day, and all my peace happiness and love to you,

-liz