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Posts tagged peace happiness and love
The beauty of kindergarten
Sep 2nd
My middle daughter is making the transition to kindergarten this year. She’s been having a bit of a rough time, having set her sights on staying home with mommy instead of going to school.
This brings up a question: I wonder what she thinks I do during the day? Our summertime schedule included lots of visits to the park and the pool and other fun excursions. I wonder whether she thinks I’m at the park, playing in the sand all by myself or wishing I had someone to push on the swings.
Anyway, back to the story. She started Monday. So far, every night she has asked me to let her know when school will end… as if it will not be the one constant in her life for the next 20 to 25 years. Every night there have been tears, pleas to not go back, and refusals to continue. And every night I have reassured her that it will get better and that we need to go back and try every day.
I thought, as we discussed the day’s events before bedtime last night, how amazing it is that I have someone in my life who loves me so much that she actually cries when she is away from me. I don’t think I’d ever thought about it that way before. What a truly miraculous thing her love is.
Even for me, it’s so hard to be new and to be away from those I care most about. My natural tendency is to stick with the familiar, the known, the comfortable. When I have to go outside of my comfort zone it takes a lot of energy.
I can imagine what it might be like for her. Surrounded by others who probably miss their own mommies and who occasionally break down in tears. Having to learn things like sitting still and lining up, when in the past these things were never needed. Learning to be patient, to share, and to be quiet. I’ve never mastered those three myself.
This morning we arrived, and the beauty of kindergarten kicked in.
Two of her classmates, both of them also close to tears this morning, gave her hugs. Her teachers — two amazing women whom I’m so thankful for — welcomed her with smiles that were just right for the moment, took her hand, and calmly led my little basket of nerves over to her other classmates.
In a couple of minutes she was going into the school with her classmates for another day of adventure — which I can hardly wait to hear about this afternoon. I know we may cry more, but we’ll keep at it.
That’s the beauty of kindergarten. We make big changes but we don’t dwell on what’s wrong. We get on with the having fun part, and we see all the changes as part of the adventure.
Hope all is well in your world. Have a great day, and a great adventure. (And Ms. G and Ms. W — thank you for being so wonderful).
-liz
Let the goofing begin!
Aug 21st
OK, so I haven’t exactly written much this week.
Let me rephrase: I haven’t written anything this week.
And I’ve had so much fun — so much peace happiness and love has come into my life!
This week, with my “elephant-sized challenge” thing, I’ve connected with five super-fantastic people all of whom are doing things they love. They have ideas that are amazing. We talked and I tried to help them get a little un-stuck and a little more connected to other equally un-stuck people.
It turns out my “right people” are coming from all over the globe, from all walks of life (for example, one is a super-smart techie and one is a super-smart farmer!), and they all share qualities like really loving what they do and truly caring for others. We’ve had more fun than a barrel of monkeys, and I speak from experience because I actually own two barrels of monkeys and they’re not even close to this in the fun department.
And next week I have more of these free consults scheduled. So if you’d like to talk tand possibly get un-stuck, or figure out how to make the icky less icky, sign up for a spot. It’ll be cool and we can connect about whatever your thing is.
No slackermoms here…
In a surprise development, I actually had a chance to have a real-life playdate with my friend Jessica, aka “slackermomspeaks“.
And you know what? She’s not a slackermom in any way. She’s awesome and warm and has a beautiful daughter who likes climbing trees just like my kids do. How lucky I am to have found her and have a moment in the sun together.
But there are phenomenoodles…
One of my favorite new discoveries (through twitter, I might add) of the week is @magswallis whose fantastic website and blog phenomenoodle makes me want to giggle every time I think of it. The info she has there is so good — all about helping you know how to become visible online and caring that visibility might be scary. Totally my kind of thing.
And she has a facebook fan page, which Effie loves. And I also love having another fun person to goof around with on twitter… so you should come goof around with both of us…
So without further adoo, let the goofing begin! Have a lovely weekend, and all my best,
-liz
Send a Friend Sunday #2
Aug 16th
Because it’s important to have traditions, and I’ve been pretty loosey-goosey with them around here, we now have “Send A Friend” Sundays. It’s a time when I fill you in on the “bigger picture” like “peace happiness and love” or “peoplerelationship” stuff or “how to deal with difficult people” things. Sometimes there’s a message you might want to share with others you care about. We’re only in week 2, but at least we’ve made it this far…
Effie (“The Elephant Manifesto”) woke me up bright an early this morning with the idea that we need to send a huge, elephant-sized THANK YOU to those who have joined the Effie the Elephant fan club on Facebook. As of this morning we have 18 wonderful, amazing members. That’s awesome. 
Effie’s getting ready to write again…
Partly because it seems time to add to the manifesto, and partly because summer is almost over and Effie will no longer be required to play with our kids during the day once they go back to school, we’re starting to get set for the next phase.
Now we just have to figure out what that is.
So this is really important: We need your input.
We want to start by to collecting your stories about elephant embracing.
I’m going to read all of these to Effie, and then we’ll decide how to proceed.
Perhaps we will find an underlying need that several stories have in common. Maybe the stories can be used to help others (with permission, of course). Maybe they’ll lead to something we haven’t even thought of yet… which would be really, really cool.
So, if you’d like to send a story about your own elephants or elephant embracing or anything relating to Effie’s inspiration, send your email to liz@lizmcgowen.com and I’ll make sure it is shared with Effie. We will, of course, never ever breathe a word about it to anyone else without your permission and we will, of course, write you back as soon as we’ve had a chance to read it.
Got it? We can hardly wait to hear from you!
… and Effie is gonna be super-bored after the kids go back to school on 8/31, and a bored elephant is not something I want to deal with around here.
Oh, yeah, and the elephant-sized giveaway…
I almost forgot to mention, over the next 45 days I’ve set aside time to offer 100 different people a free consultation. If I don’t meet the goal of 100, that’s totally cool with me, but I want to let you and people you care about know it’s out there and available.
If you’d like a free consultation, go to the “Elephant Sized Givaway” spot on the right-hand side of the screen and sign up. There are no strings or expectations on my part, and I’m not gonna try to sell you on anything.
It’s just an opportunity to connect with my right people in a very meaningful way and help each and every one of my readers, friends, colleagues, and everybody. It would be my pleasure to have a chat with you and get to know you better.
All my best…
-liz
PS: It’s really important to me that Effie’s words get out there to as many people as possible. So, if you know anyone who’s been struggling, I’d love it if you’d take a moment to send that person the link to the manifesto: http://www.lizmcgowen.com/the-elephant-manifesto/
Or, if it’s easier for you and those you care about, join the “Effie the Elephant Fan Club on Facebook” and come hang out with fellow elephant embracers there!
Helping 100 People in 45 Days
Aug 13th
Over the last weeks I’ve realized that I’ve been amazingly fortunate since starting my business. There have been so many people who have been mentors, advisors, or just “whisperers” giving me wonderful help and advice.
So, it’s time to give back. I’ve decided that in the next 45 days, between now and October 1, I’m going to give a free, one-hour consultation session to 100 different people.
That’s right. It’s gonna be super fun, crazy busy, and we’re gonna make things happen.
I’m kicking it off tomorrow (so I’m actually cheating and giving myself one extra day).
So if that sounds like fun to you — as a way to get work with your peoplerelationships stuff, or on how to deal with difficult people, or to get un-stuck, or to develop a strategy, or to work even for a little bit on something that’s really, really difficult for you to do alone — then all you have to do is join my mailing list. I will send you the link to my online appointment system, and you can pick the time that works for you.
Simple. Easy Peasy. No strings. Let’s talk and get your stuff moving!
And if you want to stand on the sidelines and cheer, that’s cool, too. I’m planning to update you on the numbers and how things are going, so you can glimpse my next 45 days in action. Crazy, but that’s what I’m doing.
A couple of details:
- All non-Chicago (Illinois, USA) clients will need to provide me with their Skype contact info. I can’t afford to offer a free session and then pay for a call halfway across the world. Hope that makes sense.
- All times for appointments are Chicago time, Central Standard Time. Hope that helps.
- I’m squeezing this in between my regular “stuff”, seeing clients who actually pay me, but I’ve opened up a lot of my schedule to do this since it’s a priority. Hope you can find a time that works for you.
- If you need to reschedule for any reason, I ask that you do so at least 24 hours in advance if you can… that helps me keep things straight and keeps me from being grumpy.
- Nothing is too anything for this project. Whatever you want to talk about is cool, that’s your choice. I’ll do my very-absolutely-superdy-duperdy best to help you.
Sound fun? Send an email to coachwithliz@aweber.com, and join my email list. Or go to the right-hand column on the screen and sign up there. Once you confirm your subscription, I’ll automatically send you to the site where you can pick the day and time you want to talk.
This is going to be so much fun. I can hardly wait!
-liz
The first ever “Send A Friend” Sunday
Aug 9th
Because it’s important to have traditions, and I’ve been pretty loosey-goosey with them around here, I’m starting “Send A Friend” Sundays. It’s a time when I’ll do a little recap of the week, sometimes with a message you might want to share with others you care about. We’ll see how it goes.
OK, so as you know, Effie came up with “The Elephant Manifesto”, and I typed it. It has traveled around the world and back again, bringing us beautiful words and love from many people. People have written to share their delight at Effie’s words, and these notes have brought me amazing joy.
So often these days, when I get together with a friend who has read the manifesto, our conversation will include something like, “I heard from my friend who is now a big Effie fan, and…”
For this I am grateful.
Effie has been able to help so many begin to embrace parts of themselves and their lives that are really, really scary — maybe, she’s even helped you. She’s been able to help people start caring for parts of themselves and begin to move forward toward happier places.
I think her words are super helpful. It’s really important to me that her words get out there to as many people as possible, to help as many people as possible.
So, if you know anyone who’s been struggling, I’d love it if you’d take a moment to send them the link to the manifesto:
http://www.lizmcgowen.com/the-elephant-manifesto/
Or, if it’s easier for you and those you care about, you can join the “Effie the Elephant Fan Club on Facebook” and invite people you care about to come hang out with us there.
All my best…
-liz
PS: I want to thank the wonderful @havi of The Fluent Self for her input and ideas in this “send a friend Sundays” idea… you’re the best, Havi.
Highlights from Iowa
Jul 2nd
We’re in Nebraska, visiting my brother and his family for the holiday.
If you’ve ever driven from Chicago to Nebraska, you understand that it’s not perhaps the most exciting drive.
Having done it hundreds of times, however, I dearly love it because the road brings me home. It’s so good to drive and think for 500 miles.
Near Adair, Iowa, which is between Des Moines and Omaha, we found something really exciting that has developed just in the past couple of years — windfarms. Here’s a peek. Although this video is taken from a different area, it was the one that conveyed the experience: Iowa wind farm near arcadia, IA
These beautiful structures are so lovely to watch — like seeing beautiful sculptures or performance art. I wish there was some sort of “pull-over” where you could stop and watch (and find out more about what’s happening).
My oldest said it looks like someone doing cartwheels. My youngest asked if it was a circus. And middle girl was asleep.
Check out this video I found, although it’s hard to convey the experience of looking out and seeing the horizon moving and swaying in a kind of beautiful dance.
Enjoy. Talk to you soon.
Oh, yeah, and I’m required by Nebraska law (and by my family) to say this: Go Huskers.
Swinging At Pitches
May 18th
The other night at my daughter’s softball game, one of the girls struck out. We were all a little surprised. She’s a pretty good batter.
Later, her mom asked her casually what happened. “I know the pitcher, mom. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.”
Oh.
Her comment hit me like a Greyhound bus.
Good God, I swing at pitches all the time just so I don’t hurt the pitcher’s feelings!
Gulp. Silence.
Wow.
There are so many times in my life when I do what is expected of me. You too? We all do. We have to, much of the time, to keep the wheels of our lives turning. Sometimes we think this is the way to keep the peace.
Instead, we end up with inner turmoil because it’s just out of sync with what we need.
Sometimes, we need to not swing as others expect. We need to let other people be responsible for their own feelings, come what may, and take a baby step toward caring for ourselves first.
This is hard, particularly for people like me who have been brought up with this incredible sense of responsibility and – dare I say it — good old-fashioned Catholic guilt. I should go to church. I should attend my college reunion. I should get involved in every school event. I should have a perfectly clean house. I should cook dinner every night. I should be exhausted from working so hard. The list goes on and on.
It’s hard to do what you need, rather than what you should.
I realize I’ve been hanging on for dear life, swinging away at those pitches, for fear of letting my brother and my parents down in an area of my own life. I’ve somehow relegated myself to status of an observer rather than a bona fide player in the game.
I’ve been terrified of what they might think. That by taking the action my soul tells me to take I might hurt other people’s feelings. I’ve been scared that it might somehow sever ties that I treasure. Scared that my parents (who, incidentally, have both been dead for over ten years) might not respect my need.
Now isn’t that interesting.
There have been so many tears over this issue, and so much angst. I feel like I’ve been in limbo for years, under some strange spell.
An amazing thing happened yesterday after I finally got this into my head that I can make the decision I want. For the first time in a long time, I’ve been able to think about some of the other “elephants” in my life. For me, who has a closet full of elephants that are all really ignored and needy, this is a huge deal.
It’s not what is expected of me, but it’s what I expect of myself that is important.
Take care, and all my love. And don’t swing at any pitches unless you are ready. But if you are ready, get out there and hit a home run.
Owies and Peace, Happiness and Love In Action
May 14th
Band-aids are a form of currency in our household. They are treasured by my kids, and every owie no matter how small seems to require one.
This got me thinking: An owie is never really dealt with until it has been cared for with love.
But somewhere between the age of 4 and 40, we stop paying attention to our owies. We leave them exposed yet we expect them to be ok. We no longer tell people openly that we have them, and we no longer expect others to kiss them and offer us protection.
Thus, there are a lot of unhealed, exposed owies out there. Ouch.
That lead me into thinking about something else: How can I help others? What is it you need that I can, maybe in my own small way, do for you?
And that, my dear friends, is leading me to put peace, happiness and love into action. I’m going to try to help with the owies.
Now, I know may sound a bit crazy and I have no idea what might happen. I only know that hopefully it will help people who need to connect and communicate, and it will enable me be the little extension-cord-of-life that I so dearly love being.
I know people are hurting. Lots and lots of owies are going untreated.
There is entirely too much pain in the world right now. We need to start giving our owies the love and attention they need.
Thank you note Tuesday, week 2
May 12th
Wow. It’s been a busy week full of growth here at the very super-secret world headquarters for the peace happiness and love blog. My thank you notes this week will give you a peek at what’s been happening:
First, thank you to everyone for stopping by and commenting last week. You have no idea, guys, how exciting that was for me. You know who you are, and you know I love ya.
Next, a big poster-sized thank you note to Gretchen at The Happiness Project. Just so you know, my gals and I have our own Happiness Project Group ready to kick off next Monday night… so soon the world better watch out when Staci, Margo, Denise, Melissa, Laurel and I get going! If you need the scoop on a Happiness Project of your own, be sure to visit Gretchen’s website.
I’ve been scooching around on Twitter and other places, getting lots of updates and reading like a maniac. One of my recent discoveries has been Suzanne Falter-Barnes, who did an amazing interview recently with Pam Slim (the “Escape from Cubicle Nation” author and blogger). Suzanne, you’ve really got it happenin’ over there at your blog, and Pam, I’m absolutely in awe of you. Both of you rock. Thanks ever so much for all the goodies, both of you!
Speaking of Twitter, this week my followers have gone through the roof (ok, perhaps it’s a low roof, but it’s still a roof). While I try to get a grip on this new mode of communication for me, I wanted to let all of you know how much I appreciate you paying even a split second’s worth of attention to me.
Thank you, each one of my new “Tweople” (eeew… I should never say that again. It felt creepy and could lead to “twenemies”). I’m still getting to know all of you, but I can tell many of us are going to be good friends.
Last but not least…
Finally, as I mentioned last week, I’ve finally figured out my “thing” and have decided to begin more openly sharing it with others.
(Now there’s a sentence I really hope my priest doesn’t read!)
But seriously, I’ve started by setting up some “playdates” — all free. Basically, it’s the kind of info you’d share with a good friend during the 30 seconds you get to talk when you take your kids to the park. Something funny, something to think about.
Playdate is definitely more appropriate.
Now please don’t think “serious”. No. It’s all really super fun with sugar on top. They’re not going to be serious, but rather relaxing and giggly. And there will eventually be recordings and an “elephant manifesto” once the picky elephant is ready for it to spread worldwide.
I hope you’ll take a peek at my “Let’s Play!” page and maybe — just maybe — sign up so we can have playdates.
My inner 4-year-old is screaming — Ooooh. It’s gonna be so much fun! You should! You should! Just say yes!
My inner 40-ish-year-old is calmly saying, yes, click the link. Do it before I have to twitter my tweople.
Well, that’s it for now. Thanks everyone — I feel so amazingly fortunate to have met you and I’ve learned so much from you. I can hardly wait to see what happens next!
Love for Mom
May 8th
I was going to write something deeply moving and slightly sad about mothers day. Nah.
Then I started thinking of my own mom and what she would have enjoyed.
So I’m going to send you on a little visit to an artist whose work takes my breath away. This particular one, “Peace on Earth“, is just stunning.
Enjoy.
If you kind of sort of thought this post was fun, here’s another on love: “Yay! It’s Love Day“